The Same Old “Mean” in a New Way

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We all have been mean to someone at some point in our lives.  I believe that “social media” has given rise to a new kind of “mean.”  The anonymity of not being face-to-face with someone gives a certain bravado to some, and it is easy to type something snarky and rude, and hit send without much fear of repercussion.  I have seen so many dramatic engagements online that have lead to drama and even tragedy offline, that I finally decided to write about it.
We all need to remember that human beings with real faults and feelings reside behind the profile pictures and avatars.  This is what I look like behind the Couponista Queen logo:
:
My name is Stacy.  I am 40-years old, and I have learned a thing or two in my time on Earth.  I am a real person, with feelings, and yet time and again I get nasty emails and comments when I **GASP** make a mistake, or someone disagrees with me.  I usually let it roll off my back.  Sometimes it really hurts.  Sometimes I have to bite off my tongue to keep from lowering myself into a mud-slinging contest.  Honestly, I sometimes write that snippy response.  But I don’t hit post before I let it sit and I revise it…and 99 times out of 100 I don’t post it at all because I know I am being bitchy.  That being said, I do stick up for myself and what I think is right.  This is my forum and I am the Queen, damn it!  (LOL I am just kidding so don’t send me a bunch of nasty emails please, I know I’m not a real Queen, but this IS my territory so I make the rules.  The first one is that if you can’t type something nice, don’t hit the send button).   To be a blogger and in the public eye, you have to expect that you will never please 100% of the people 100% of the time.  And sometimes the criticism I receive is totally justified.  I also know that I need to be polite and measured in my responses.  What I find disturbing is the ease with which some will be quick to type that mean comment, and press send, and then defend the rudeness to the end.
So why did I write this?  I would really like everyone to take a moment before you post a comment and ask yourself: “Am I posting this to me mean?  Snarky?   Snippy?  Degrading?  Am I angry and need to cool down first?” and then ask yourself  “Would I say this to someone’s face?”   We all know when we are being mean, so be a grown up and own up to it.
I want everyone to please remember that we all have feelings.   We will not all agree, but respectful conversation is the civilized and educated way to resolve things.  Whew, I got that off my chest.  So please be nice to each other here in the virtual world AND the real one.   Feel free to comment and speak your mind.   Peace.

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Comments

  1. <3 Love it and it's all 100 % true!! Type it forward!!

  2. GREAT POST! It’s easy to forget that there are real humans behind the words typed. Bravo for the great reminder 🙂

  3. Great Post! Facebook is another place where I see people getting nasty. It’s ridiculous! People should appreciate the time & effort that is put into blogging. I follow a lot of blogs, and I see people getting mad about deals that they missed. It’s crazy. BTW, you look way younger than 40. 🙂

  4. I always say my blog is my virtual sandbox. Pee in my sandbox & you will get kicked out. 🙂 Play nice & you can stay.

    This doesn’t mean people have to agree with me. I’m totally cool with differing opinions. I just expect them to be expressed in a polite, civil manner. WAY too many people write things online they would never say to someone face to face…& it’s shameful!

  5. Well put! It’s so aggravating, sad to see how people behave these days.

    That is an awesome picture of you- love it!

  6. Melissa Weiss says:

    Well said <3

  7. Very well written, I couldn’t have said it better! It’s shameful how people hide behind the virtual walls of the Internet these days. Thank you for reminding us all, great post. BTW, that’s a beautiful picture of you 🙂 Thanks again for all that you do~

  8. Great post! It’s always a shame to see bloggers turn on one another. We are all people and we all have feelings.

  9. I made a promise to myself that I will try to be nice, even in disagreement, with each remark that I make. People can act like children on the Internet and be so mean. Some of the things you see are just totally disgusting. I wish everyone would just sit and think, like I am doing right now to make sure I say this correctly, before they fly off the handle and write horrible things.

    On the other hand, bloggers also need restraint when someone nicely disagrees with them. I disagreed with a blogger once, I did not write a nasty comment; I was nicely disagreeing with her. Then all of a sudden I had her, and another blogger (a good friend of hers) coming down on me like a ton of bricks.

    On both sides of the coin, we need to be nice to one another, and treat each other like human beings, and not like garbage. We must always think before we write.

  10. I LOVE this post!! When ever I post something that might be a little controversial, I always add a little Disclaimer that we can all have differing opinions, but I must require all comments be done in taste and kindness, especially to each other. Thankfully I’ve never had any rude/hate emails or comments on my blog, but WOW, I see drama ALL the time on Facebook, etc. It’s a little frustrating how people can treat each other so poorly.

    You completely nailed it all on the head. And I LOVE that cartoon!!

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